(MORGAN)

It was a busy day at our house this morning. Getting back into the swing of alarm clocks, making lunches and getting two kids ready for school was more than a little stressful.

But eventually we all made it into the car and arrived at school with everything we needed. Connor is in first grade and Lily is third grade. Bella is still too young to be going to school, and I think she's quite put out about that little fact. She threw quite the fit when I was buying backpacks and school supplies for her brother and sister. Her turn will come soon enough. Then what will I do with my days?

Connor is busy looking for Katy and I'm crossing my fingers that we don't see her. I'm just not up to running into my ex and his ex. Of course they might not even be here together. Wouldn't surprise me if she told Joe that he wasn't wanted at the house this morning. Actually I'm surprised he didn't show up at my house, but then I get the distinct impression he's avoiding me. When he dropped the kids off yesterday morning after the trip to Hawaii he stayed out in the car while Connor and Lily ran into the house. That's not like Joe, he's never had any problem bringing them right into the house, and in fact I've always encouraged it.

I don't understand why he'd be avoiding me but at this point in time nothing is going to surprise me. I'm still stinging from the last therapy session; Chris and I had quite the dust up but we got an awful lot off our chests. Will it help? That still has to be decided.

A sneeze catches me off guard and I turn my head just in time to stop from sneezing right on Bella. She thinks its funny, clapping her hands together as she urges me 'Do 'gain'.

Shifting her from one hip to the other, I reach into my pocket for a kleenex and shake my head. "Nope, don't have to sneeze again, thanks."

"You better not be getting a cold, Mommy," comes Lily's sage advice.

"I'm not, it's just one sneeze," I assure my eldest. "Are you sure you have all your stuff?"

"Yes Mom." She gives me that 'are you for real' look she's doing more and more often.

Ignoring it, I call out to Connor. "Do you have everything?"

He scampers over to my side. "I think so." He's still got a baseball cap on his head and I reach over to pluck it off. "Hey!" he complains.

"No hats in the classroom, remember?"

"No fair."

I could tell him that life isn't fair sometimes, but he'll figure that out for himself one of these days. Biting my lip, I tell myself I need to be a hell of a lot more positive.

"Okay then let's get the two of you to your classrooms," I tell them.

"But Mom I haven't seen Poppy yet. We want to walk to class together." Lily whines.

Deciding that waiting another few minutes is preferable over a temper tantrum, I tell her we will wait for a bit longer.

Of course that has her brother stamping his foot and rolling his eyes. I'm beginning to think that the mood between Chris and I, not to mention us living in separate houses is really starting to affect the kids. Or maybe it's just al the traveling they've done in the past few months. Oklahoma to Minnesota to Hawaii and ba ck to Oklahoma. If the teacher asks them to write 'What I did on summer vacation' essays at least they'll have a lot of material. I can only imagine what they'd write about their step father and me.

But just the same I'm very surprised Chris didn't show up this morning to come with us to school. He might have problem upon problem with me, but he's always supportive of Lily and Connor. Luckily they don't seem to mind his absence; Lily is more interested in reuniting with her friend Poppy and Connor just wants to get to class to see the rest of his new classmates.

Finally Poppy and her mother make their appearance and the five of us make our way into the school. There are hugs and kisses as Lily, and then Connor scamper into their classrooms to meet everyone and before I know it, Bella and I are back at the car and I'm buckling her into her car seat despite her protests.

"No no no, Bella stay. Bella go school. No Mommy, no!" She tries to push me away and feeling another sneeze coming on, I step back and grab the Kleenex out of my pocket once again so I can cover my mouth.

"Bless you," sounds a familiar voice and I look up to see Joe a few feet away. That's enough to bring an instant smile to my face. That is, until I notice he's holding Jack; and Jack's mother is standing beside him.

"Thanks. There must be something in the air today. That's the second time I've sneezed," I say as Bella continues to voice her disapproval of not being able to go to school.

"I hope you're not coming down with something. Usually when you start sneezing it means a cold isn't far behind." Joe reminds me. "Everything go okay with Lily and Connor this morning?"

"Yep, they are thrilled to be going back to school. Bella isn't quite so happy however."

"We could tell," Pam says and I look at her trying to decide if that was a dig at me or not. But she's standing there next to Joe with a smile on her face, the two of them looking like the happy little family. What a crock. "I guess she'll be missing her playmates now that school has started."

"The two of you should get together to let Jack and Bella play," Joe suggests and that earns him a look of disapproval from both Pam and me. Guess we agree on something after all. That'd be like suggesting him and Chris get together to hang out. Ain't gonna happen.

"Oh I'm sure Morgan has a million other things to do while the kids are at school," Pam retorts and I can tell she's thinking exactly the opposite.

Whatever. I'm not going to play her games so I just agree and leave it at that. The three of us stand around looking awkward while Bella keeps up a steady stream of complaints. Jack is the only one having a great time; he's smiling and tugging at his father's sleeve like he doesn't have a care in the world.

And I guess at nine months old he really doesn't. As long as someone is around to feed and play with him he's a happy little boy. If only life could be that simple for the rest of us.

"Chris didn't come with you this morning? That's weird. I would have thought he'd be here for the first day of school," Pam asks looking around.

"No he isn't here. Sorry to disappoint you," I tell her. I can't believe she's asking about him with both Joe and I standing here. Never would have expected that from her. She always seemed like such a sweet person. But then a sweet person probably would have put some distance between herself and my husband and that didn't happen.

Pam gives a shrug, and a little smile. "Probably had a good reason." Not hard to figure out what she thinks that reason is, I'm actually surprised she doesn't come right out and suggest Chris just doesn't want to spend any time with me. That's reinforced when she says, "Luckily Joe had some spare time and surprised us this morning with flowers and breakfast; he wouldn't miss Katy's first day of school for anything."

Okay, I'm going to throw up now, especially when she slides her arm under Joe's, clasping his free hand in hers. If she kisses him or gives him an adoring gaze, I'm going to lose it.

"That was very thoughtful of him," is all I say. "I'd better be getting Bella home and got some things done before its time to pick the kids up again."

Joe takes a step forward, and kisses me on the cheek. "It was good to see you Morgan. Tell Lily and Connor I said hi and have them call me later so I can hear all about their first day."

"I'll be happy to do that." I smile and bring my hand up to his cheek. "It was good to see you too, Joe."

Our eyes meet and I find it hard to look away, but I do. I'm trying hard to be good and not give in to the urge to cry on his shoulder.

Turning away from him, I slide into the car, fasten my seatbelt, and put the car into gear. Looking into the rearview mirror as I pull away, I expect to see Joe and Pam going their separate ways. Instead I see them walking towards her vehicle still hand in hand. Could they have made amends while in Hawaii? Nah, not after the phone I got from Joe. I'm not sure what game Pam is playing today, but I'm almost positive there hasn't been a reconciliation between the two of them.

I suppose it really shouldn't matter to me if there is. But why am I crossing my fingers and hoping their divorce is still on track?

*************

(PAM)

I'm not even sure I should dial the number, she used to be best friends with that witch; they went to hell and back together. Would she want to hear me vent about her ex best friend? Too bad, I need some one to talk too and she's the only one that knows both people involved that I'm not related to by marriage.

It takes Mel four rings to pick up the phone. We exchange the usual pleasantries and then because I'm really not in the mood to beat around the bush I plunge right in. "Okay you've known her more years than I have. Has she always wanted what she doesn't have? Has she always thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence? I mean really first it was Chris then it was Joe then it was Chris, now it looks like its Joe again. "

Mel breathes out slowly, and I know her well enough to know that this means she's weighing her words. Finally, she asks, "Do you really want my opinion? Are we really going to dissect her? Or are you just venting?" I notice she doesn't ask who we are talking about, but with an opener like that; does she really need a road map?

"Ugh I don't know, I guess I'm venting," I say and start pacing the floor. Thankfully the kids are with Joe today. I've tried really hard not to let my feelings for Morgan show in front of Katy. She likes Lily and Connor's Mom. Heaven knows why. "I just had a run in with her at Clays. I let her know exactly how I was feeling now that my loving husband; and I use that term loosely, finally admitted that he's still in love with Morgan."

Mel snorts, "So it's not just me that Morgan is the new "Chris" of our little Peyton Place life?" I want to laugh but choke it back. Mel has a point. Chris settled down, and now Morgan seems to have picked up his annoying, nasty habits. She's not satisfied with what she has, she wants what belongs to someone else, and she doesn't seem to give a $$%+ that other people will be affected by her actions.

"You've hit the nail on the head. She really is the new Chris. I know that I haven't been a total angel in this whole mess. But damn it I didn't cheat on Joe while we were married. I didn't go after Chris when I could have. What the hell is wrong with her?"

Mel is so quiet I can hear one of the kids singing in the background. It amazing how everything can be so normal and so screwed up at the same time. "I don't know. I wish I did. I'd tell her, and shake her, or beat some sense into her." Mel sighs. "Maybe I'm not the one to talk to about this. I'm feeling pretty jaded this week."

I shake my head, like she can see me. "But I did call you. You understand. You know you do."

Mel agrees. "Yes, I do. But the bad thing is, I understand Morgan a little too, sort of. I don't know what her problem is, but I understand the restlessness she's acting out with, all too well."

Before I can complain, Mel adds, "But there is no excuse for hurting the people that love her; her family. She is a royal +!*## for all the Joe stuff."

"Yes she is. I know it shouldn't bother me, we are almost divorced. And truthfully it's not even her screwing Joe that bothers me, although that does hurt. It's the way she's treating Chris. And before you get in my face, no I have no intention of getting in the middle of anything ever again. If, and that's a big if, I fall in love again it won't be with anyone in our twisted little circle. Thanks for letting me vent.

"Pam, you know that I'm here. We're family. You are Katybug's Mom. You are my kids Aunt. And I hope that we're working on being real friends finally." She hesitates and asks, "You know you can ask me anything right?"

"Yes I do and I appreciate that. Its taken us a long time to get here but I'm glad we finally are. And you know that goes both ways right?

Mel chuckles. "You might regret saying that." But she sobers up quickly. "Come visit us. Come out and tickle your nieces and nephews, my fingers are tired." She adds, "I feel the need to do some retail therapy, and if you aren't here to keep me in line, all the kids in the family will get new wardrobes."

I hesitate, and start thinking up excuses why it's not a good idea right now. She cuts me off, "And like the song says, every girl needs a good friend and a glass of wine."

"I think you just convinced me. The next time the kids have a break from school or they are with Butthead....."

Mel interrupts me. "Your kids are going to be with Garth?

I can't help it. I burst out laughing; I forget that we call him that quite often. It fits.

"No, the other butthead, the one I'm divorcing."

Mel giggles. "You know you might want to reconsider and leave them with Garth."

We end our call with just the normal sort of talk that I've been missing lately. Nothing more drama filled than promises to email photos of the children and pets, and exchanging some recipes. I hang up the phone and take a deep breath. I can't remember the last time I did that without my chest feeling tight. Who would have though after all the chaos that surrounded Mel when she came into our lives that she would end up being the sanest of us all?

******

(PAM)

Talking to Mel helped to calm me down and so did some of my favorite music cranked really loud. Why I didn't just walk out of Clay's place when I realized Morgan was there is beyond me. I swear I have got to find a new state to live in. Then Chris, Morgan and Joe could have their triangle and I wouldn't have to watch.

I ended up not eating anything at Clay's pretty much lost my appetite. And now that it's a couple hours later, I'm starving. A bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich sounds really good. A search of the fridge however turns up neither the bacon or the tomatoes. So much for that idea. Guess it's a pint of ice cream. There are no kids here to feed, they are with their father. So what the hell, why not?

Back in the living room, I turn the music down a little and sit down on my new couch, my position just right that I can look at the trees outside the window. It's windy out today, the gusts making the trees dance quite a bit. If this was October I'd have a yard full of leaves to rake up, but it's not, so I won't.

A few bites into my ice cream, I hear a knock at the door. Not being in the mood for company I ignore the sound. It's not Joe, if he was bringing the kids back for some insane reason he would have called. And if it's Morgan looking for round two. She can go screw herself.

Whoever it is seems determined to get my attention, the knocking gets louder.

"Oh, hell. I guess I'm going to have to answer it." I really should get a pet, then I wouldn't always be talking to myself.

Looking through the window all I can see is the top of a head with dark hair. What the heck? Craning my neck, I realize that it's Chris. On my porch. On his knees.

What the hell?

Opening the door, I look at him, "You're about three years too late, to be doing this. What do you want?" I ask him.

He looks warily at me; almost as if he's concerned I might reach out and smack him or something. Or something is probably the closest to what I'm thinking I should do. Then he says, "Forgiveness."

"You want me to forgive you? Why?" I blurt out.

"Cause I was a bastard. Actually you called me that.," he clarifies. "That evening. As I was walking out your door."

"Chris…." I say in warning. "We covered this in Italy and I'm not really in the mood to go over it all again. Don't tell me, you've had yet another fight with that wife of yours and you're here looking for sympathy from me. Hate to tell you this but you're going to have to keep looking 'cause you're definitely not going to get any from me. You made your decision, Chris. Live with it."

He's still on his knees and he looks absolutely ridiculous. But he doesn't show any sign of moving. "I deserve all that, and more. But I swear I don t have any ulterior motives, Pam."

"Right." I snort, but Chris doesn't move an inch. "If I close the door and go inside will you leave?"

"Nope," he says, sounding very determined. Guess I can't blame him for thinking that I will eventually give in to him, I always do.

And the last thing either one of us needs is for some intrepid photographer to be hanging around snapping pictures of Chris on his knees outside my door. Sighing heavily, I stand back from the door and let him in, chuckling just a little when he has a bit of trouble getting up, guess he's not quite as young as he thinks he is.

Once he's inside, I close the door, walk over to the couch and resume eating my rapidly melting ice cream. Whatever he's here for he's going to have to work for it, I'm done making things easy for him.

Chris sits down in one of the chairs across from the couch and I can't help but notice how tired he looks. Whatever is going on between him and Morgan, it's stating to take a toll on him. He's draped all over the chair, his hand holding up his head like its weighs too much for him to hold up. There are new lines around his eyes. He looks almost as bad as Morgan did earlier. We sit in silence for a while before Chris breaks the silence.

"You got a new couch."

"Yep. The other one was suddenly too nasty to keep around," I respond, then hold up my hand when it looks like he's going to offer up yet another apology, "Don't say anything. You've already apologized. It happened, we can't go back and change that."

Getting up from the couch I walk into the kitchen, and throw the rest of the ice cream away. As I stand there I wish there was something that needed doing in here. But there isn't; there are no messes to clean up when the kids aren't here. So I stroll back into the living room, and stand by the window.

Chris is silent for so long I have to sneak a peek to see if he's somehow snuck out, or fallen asleep in his chair. It's neither; he's sitting there, leaning forward in almost the same position he was in when I walked out of the room. But when he sees me looking at him, he asks, "How do you do it?"
"How do I do what?"

"Find it in you to forgive people. Me, for instance."

"Life is too short," I tell him without hesitation. "I have more than enough things that take up my energy, my kids, my life. Why waste any of it on grudges?"

"Wish you could teach that little trick to my wife," he replies.

"No thanks. Don't really feel like teaching that woman anything." I could just avoid answering, but what's the point. Chris has to know how I feel about Morgan and probably vice versa. Doubt she says anything complimentary about me these days. "I'm sure you're going to find out, so I'm just going to tell you. Morgan and I had a run in at Clay's today. I kind of exploded at her, and then I left. I'm not apologizing for anything I said. I just wanted you to know."

Chris gets up from his chair, walks over to where I'm standing. "Let me guess, she blamed you for everything that is wrong between her and I? And you probably defended me."

"Yep. I pointed a few home truths that needless to say she wasn't too happy to hear."

Chris steps closer and wraps his arms around me. "Damn her. I'm sorry Pam. But thank you for defending me," he says softly.

I know I shouldn't, but I slide my arms around him, pulling us even closer. This is the last thing I should be doing. But I'm not going to be the one that steps away this time. If I'm honest I have to admit that for a fraction of a second when I opened the door and saw Chris on his knees, I was hoping that he was there to beg me to give a relationship between us another chance. That he had enough of Morgan and her crap. Then reality took over, but there's nothing that says I can't enjoy being in his arms for a few minutes. And hmm he doesn't seem to be in too much of a hurry to end the embrace either.

I can feel his heartbeat underneath my check. As we stand here every lyric that was on the CD he sent me is running through my head. All that longing, all those missed chances, and here he is again. Raising my head off my chest, I find him looking at me and I get lost one more time in the depths of his eyes. Does he move first or do I? It ceases to matter when our lips meet in the middle.

************

(KIERAN)

It's time for the birthday girl to open her presents and the pile of brightly wrapped boxes and gift bags is almost bigger than she is. Morgan is sitting beside Lily with a pad of paper and a pen to record who sent what. She's sneezed several times since she sat down and each time she does Lily moves a little further away from her Mother. Can't say as I blame her. Chris explained that Morgan has a sinus infection and is on antibiotics, guess they haven't kicked in yet.

"Open mine! Open mine!" Lily's friend Poppy says excitedly. She's an adorable little girl with red hair, freckles and blue eyes.

"Hurry up, Lily. I want cake," Connor says from the chair he's sitting in, one foot swinging back and forth.

Lily predictably sticks her tongue out at her younger brother, which earns her a glare from her Mom. Lily ignores her and reaches for a present, It's a rectangular shaped box wrapped in rainbow paper with an orange bow. Lily wastes no time trying to save the paper, or the ribbon, soon both are shredded mess on the floor. Then she's holding up a Taylor Swift CD. "This is great, Poppy! Thanks," Lily tells the other girl and there are big grins from both of them. Why do I have the feeling that disc is going to get quite a lot of air time over the next few weeks. Hope Chris doesn't mind being usurped as the favorite vocalist.

There are a few more CDs or DVDs from the rest of her friends and her cousins and every time she opens something new Lily lets out a happy squeal and thanks the giver. One thing's for sure, the girl definitely has good manners. She opens the requisite pile of books from me, wouldn't be a birthday with out them and at least I know they're appreciated. Carolyn's told me Lily's quite the reader. S he also receives a soft yellow colored sweater from Carolyn and that brings her skidding over to hug both of us.

"Thanks for the books, Kieran. I'm going to start reading as soon as I get home," she promises me.

"Tis a good hobby to have, lass," I confirm as I return the hug, almost upsetting her tiara. We get it settled back on her head then she's running back to open the next present.

"I'll open Chris' present now." Lily announces, picking up a small pink box. Inside is a pink Ipod. The look on Lily's face when she realizes what it is priceless.

"Thank you ! Thank you ! Thank you, Chris." She squeals when she finally finds her voice. Lily goes running across the room and practically throws herself at Chris.

"There's a gift card in there too, you could even use it put some of my songs on there." Chris says with a wink.

"Nah, your songs are all about grown up mushy stuff." Lily replies making a yucky face.

"Everyone's a critic," Chris moans, a pained look on his face.

"Maybe you just need to go a different direction with your songs," Pam quips and that earns her a scowl from Morgan. I have to hide my own grin. I'll give my daughter credit where it's due, she's not about to be intimidated by any other woman. And if today is any indication, I seriously doubt those two women will ever be close again, there's far too much water under the bridge of their friendship for that to happen. But I can't resist glancing at my soon to former son-in-law, wondering what his reaction is.

I'll admit I'm a little surprised to see him studiously ignoring the comment. Instead he's holding Jack, bouncing the boy on his knee as he waits for Lily to open the next gift. And it turns out to be one from him.

"What did you get me, Daddy?" Lily questions and Joe simply grins and tells her the faster she unwraps it, the sooner she'll know. Lily demonstrates the art of speed unwrapping and yet another squeal when she sees a camera box lets everyone know Joe's chosen a good gift. "This is great Daddy, now when we go on vacation I'll be able to take lots and lots of pictures." Before she races over to hug her father, she turns to Pam and exclaims, "Look Pam, now I'll have lots of pictures to scrapbook just like you!"

" I see that, we will have to plan lots of sleepovers so we can scrapbook together." That brings a big smile to Lily's face.

When Lily turns to hug her father, Declan leans over and whispers something in Pam's ear, she blushes. He's probably making sure that Pam leaves plenty of time between those sleepovers for him. I was rather surprised to see Declan McGiness here today. With all the drama that has occurred between several of the people in this room I would have though he'd want to keep his distance. But I guess my daughter was too to big a draw for him to ignore. I've watched the two of them together today, and I have to admit that it wouldn't break my heart if something serious developed between them. He's a fine Irish lad. Loyal to his family, hard working, protective of those he loves. Sure there is a bit of the black Irish about him, it comes with the breed, but knowing Pam it's not anything she couldn't handle.

My wandering thoughts are brought back to the party with the sound of more ripping wrapping paper. This time the gift is from Pam. She's given Lily a beautiful embroidered shirt from Italy and a lovely Murano glass necklace. Pam did a great job picking them out. They are perfect for a girl Lily's age.

"Wow, these are great Pam. Thanks! I'm totally going to where them both to school on Monday!" she tells her.

"Glad you like them, Lily, I had fun picking them out for you."

"You always pick out great presents, thanks again," Lily says, as she goes over to give her a hug.

"It's not very hard; you're an easy girl to buy for."

After their exchange Lily rushes through the rest of the gifts, there's some more clothes from her uncle and aunt, a Nintendo DS from her mother and craft supplies from Logan and Sydney, and Annie and Tom. She's going to need a U-Haul trailer to get everything home again. But the birthday celebrations are far from over. Joe stands up and declares its time for cake. That announcement is followed by a hoot of thanks from Connor as he says, "Bout time." That cracks everyone up as we stand to sing the birthday song as Joe quickly lights the eight candles decorating the top of the chocolate cake.

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Lily
Happy birthday to you

Chris chimes in with a falsetto "And many more."

*****************

(CHRIS)

I never thought I'd cavalierly offer my wife an invitation to join me on a vacation, all the time wondering whether or not she would accept. But that's exactly what I did last night once we got back from Joe's house. Lily, Connor and even Bella decided to spend the night there with Katy, Jack, Paige and Meghan. Got to give Joe credit, he's not afraid to jump in and take care of all the kids by himself. And the rest of us would normally jump at the chance for some couple time. Odds are that's exactly what Annie and Tom, and probably even Pam and Declan did. God only knows what Morgan was thinking; she probably wished she could be right there at Joe's side, hanging out with the children as well.

I didn't stick around to find out. Once the invitation was extended I left her to weigh her options and went back to the new house. Then the next morning it was out to the air strip for the flight to Barbados. Morgan left it to the very last second, the pilot was just finishing his pre-flight check when she showed up, dashing aboard without a word, or an apology. But I guess one really wasn't necessary. I invited her to join me and I guess she made her decision.

I'd like to say it's taken the weight off my shoulders but I'd be lying. I still really don't know where we stand; I still really don't know if our marriage is going to make it. But if this vacation has any hope of being a success, I need to try to stay in a more positive frame of mind. We don't do much talking; its obvious Morgan's sinus infection isn't making this flight very comfortable. She's spent most of the time from Tulsa to Barbados with her nose buried in Kleenex after Kleenex. But I'll give her credit, she doesn't complain.

There's a brief respite for her once we arrive in Barbados; it's an hour before we can board the island hopper flight to Union Island, the next leg of our journey. Finally the pilot appears and we're led out to a small aircraft with room for only six guests plus the pilot. This would be the perfect gig for Joe, I muse as we settle in our seats and I make a mental note to ask him about the Merlyn Commander plane. I don't think I've been on one before.

As we wing our way toward Union Island, the pilot acts as tour guide pointing out the neighboring islands. We fly past St. Vincent and Mustique and a few others until we're finally descending to the landing strip on Union. As soon as we step off the Commander we're met by a smiling, uniformed boat captain named Maurice. He's=2 0responsible for taking us on the last leg of the trek to Petit St. Vincent island and this time we're led to a dock and a motor launch.

Again there's not much conversation between Morgan and me; just a few comments about the sunshine and the beautifully clear water, and I'm beginning to wonder at the wisdom of renting the entire island out myself. There's only twenty-two cottages on the island and I wanted to make sure I'd be getting a true getaway. Now I'm starting to wonder if I would have been better of having at least a few other vacationers around to talk to. But then again, if things get any worse between us she can always stay in one of the other cottages on the other side of the island, far away from me, I decide with a rueful snort.

The website promised no formal check in or keys to worry about but when we finally dock, we're met by a smiling woman with tropical drinks for us. "I'm Lynn Richardson," she announces as Morgan and I both accept the beverages. My husband Haze discovered this island almost forty-five years ago." She goes on to provide us with a short history of the island hideaway that's fascinating. It definitely has me wondering what life would be like living in a paradise such as this.

Finally she leads the way to our cottage. It's notched into a hillside and a quick glance tells me we only have steps to get to the beach. The cottage is made out of stone quarried right on the island and it has a soaring peaked ceiling with spinning ceiling fans. There's no air conditioning but I don't think we're going to have to worry about it getting too hot here. A sideways glance in Morgan's direction tells me she's blowing her nose once again. Lynn shows us the living room, bedroom, two bathrooms and dressing rooms; then leads us out onto the wooden sundeck. She asks if we noticed the bamboo flag pole and wooden box out front of the cottage.

Morgan sneezes, then nods her head. "I did." She's good at noticing little details like that.

Lynn smiles and explains if we need anything all we have to do is leave a message in the message box, raise the yellow flag and a staff member will come pick up the message. "You have two staff assigned to help you, but if you want complete privacy all you have to do is raise the red flag and no one will disturb you."

It's on the tip of my tongue to make a joke asking where the white flags are, but I manage to hold it in, and instead simply thank Lynn, promising we'll do our best to enjoy our time here. And as Lynn leaves us, I turn to my wife and say, "I think I know what's first on the agenda."

Morgan simply stares at me for a minute. "You have got to be kidding. My head is killing me, I can barely breathe.... and you want to have sex?"

"Umm no I really don't," I tell her. "Give me credit for a few brain cells, would you. What I was going to suggest is that you take a nap. But thanks for thinking the worst of me yet again." Turning on my heel I walk out of the cottage down onto the beach. This is quite possibly the worst idea I've had in a really long time.

Why did I ever think it would be any different?

As I pause long enough to ditch my shoes and socks, and to roll up the pant legs on my jeans I wonder if I really need to start focusing more on how I'm going to get over my marriage, rather than on how I'm going to put it back together again. It's going to take two of us to do that, and more and more I'm getting the distinct impression one of us really isn't trying very hard.

Taking a few steps toward the water's edge, I skirt the incoming waves until the water is finally too tempting and I move forward until I'm ankle deep. "Bet you're wishing you could hold my head under those waves for a few minutes," Morgan's voice sounds behind me and I just keep up my slow pace, taking steps here and there in the water.

"It is tempting," I allow. "But I don't really want to be sharing a jail cell with my son, thanks."

"It's probably not going to help, but I am sorry. That comment was uncalled for." I can hear her take a deep breath and sniff. "I'm sorry, Chris."

"I am too," I say simply.

"Sorry you invited me, I'll bet."

"Right at this moment that would be true." I admit. "Go back to the cottage, slide under the covers and take a nap Morgan. I'll be there in a bit."

"Promise?" I hear her ask.

Turning around, I answer her, "I promise."

"Okay." she sighs. "I really could use some rest."

"Then off you go," I tell her and start walking again before she can change her mind. When I finally glance back over my shoulder I can see her slowly making her way back up to the cottage. There's so much I want to say to her, yet I really don't know why I'm holding back. But then again maybe I do. Maybe I'm just doing the exact same thing she's doing. Holding back.

Eventually one of us is going to have to crack. I just hope something happens soon because I really don't think I can live like this much longer.

***************

(DECLAN)

I've just refilled my glass when I see headlights on the living room wall, I guess that means Pam and the kids are back. About time. The dinner hour is long past, so is dessert, it's fast approaching "will you stay the night" time.

Kieran notices the lights too, "Uh oh looks like it's time to put the whiskey away."

Holding up the bottle to show him it's empty, I laugh, "Nothing left to put away."

Kieran and I spent the evening sharing stories about our childhoods, telling lies about the women we've loved and lost and generally trying to out blarney each other. It's been an evening well spent. But now I'm ready for a very different form of adult entertainment.

Getting up from the couch, I walk towards the front door; then out onto the porch just in time to see Pam getting out of the vehicle. Leaning against the porch post, I watch as she gets the kids out. I can't help noticing how good the rear view is when she leans in to get Jack. Very nice, I think as I take another sip of whiskey.

Katy comes running over to me, I swear the child never walks; she's always at a run.

"Hi Declan. We be home now. Did you miss us?"

"Of course I did, Katybug. And so did your Grandpa, he's inside waiting to see you,." I tell her as I open the screen door so she can go in. Which she does, leaving me free to greet Pam.

"Welcome home , darlin." I greet her, using my best Oklahoma drawl. Apparently I fail miserable because Pam starts to laugh. Not exactly the reaction I was going for.

"Stick with the Irish brogue, Dec. You're much better at it." Pam walks up the steps to the front porch, switching a very sleepy Jack to her other hip.

"There's another greeting I'm very good at or so I'm told."

"Hmmm what would that be?" she asks as she steps up next to me.

"This," I say as I my hand slides behind her neck pulling her closer, dipping my head I capture her lips with mine. It's not a gentle kiss, The whiskey has me past the point of gentle, slow, seduction. Pam doesn't pull away, or protest the firmness of the kiss, rather she gives me as good as she's getting. Until Jack starts to protest being stuck in the middle.

We pull apart; Pam soothes Jack then looks at me as she licks her lips. "Whiskey tastes good on you."

If my blood wasn't on fire up to that point, it's at the point of extreme conflagration now. "Time the boy's in bed, wouldn't you say?"

She looks from me to Jack and tickles his chin. As if to prove my point he doesn't laugh, instead he just leans his head in toward her, looking for a cozy shoulder to rest against.

"Why don't you let me take him?" Before she can agree or disagree, I've neatly plucked him out of her arms and settled him in my own. "Come on Jacko, time to tuck you into your wee cot for the night. And not a peep from you until mornin' do ya hear me now?"

He gives me a solemn blink, confirmation enough that he understands how important it is for his mum and me to have some private time of our own the rest of this fine evening. As I carry him inside I see Katy nestled up against a rather red-nosed Kieran, pestering him for a bedtime story.

"And you Miss Katy my love, its time for you to crawl into your bed. Go get your pajamas on and your teeth brushed, lass."

Maybe she's not used to my giving the orders but there's no argument from her. She obediently scrambles off the couch and straight down the hall toward the bathroom and I mentally pat myself on the back. And they say bedtime is the most difficult time of the day. I think not.

"Ay you've become a bossy one, Declan McGinness," Kieran note s and he gets, somewhat unsteadily, to his feet to greet Pam. "Do ye want me to kick him out on his ear for the night lass?"

She gives me the eye and shakes her head. "No Dad, I think I can manage him."

"Oh I think you can manage him with one hand tied behind your back."

"And I think I can manage you, old man, with one hand tied behind my back," I mutter back with a smile and a wink in Pam's direction. "Weren't you just saying something about calling it a night?"

"I was?" He gazes at me and when I don't look away, he laughs. "Oh aye, I guess I was. Carolyn will be needing some company with the children at Joseph Ross' house for the next few nights, and that son and daughter in law of hers off to the Caribbean. Pam, lass, do you have the number to the local taxi company? I'm not saying I've had too much to drink but I rather like the idea of being driven over to the house."

Pam just shakes her head at the two of us, "I'm thinking that you won't be of much use to Carolyn tonight. But I will call you a cab. As for you..." She puts her hands on her hips and looks me up and down. "... I'm not sure you'll be of much use to me either, but if you can get those two in bed by the time Da leaves, I'm willing to give it a try."

"You're on." I wink at her. If she thinks that the whiskey I've drank is going to impede my ability to perform she's in for quite a surprise. Quickly making my way down the hall, I check on Katy and find her on the step stool in front of the sink brushing her teeth. There's a glob of toothpaste on the counter, but I'll get to that later. It only takes a few minutes to change Jack, get him into some jammies and lay him down in his crib. Then its back to check on Katy in the bathroom, a quick wipe of the counter, and her face then I swing her up into my arms and drop her on her bed. She giggles, I tell her a quick story about a leprechaun and she settles right down. Must be my lucky night. One more trip into Jack's room to grab the monitor and I'm hurrying back into the living room to find Pam just stepping back inside from seeing her Dad off.

She closes the door behind her and in a flash I' m right there in front of her pressing her against it.

"No use she says, if not for this useless lad she'd still have two children to tuck into bed, not to mention stories to read."

She cocks her head to one side as if listening. "I suppose I could reconsider the useless but then the jury's still deliberating on all the charges."

"I'll show you deliberate," I growl and before she can move her head, I'm lowering my lips to that lovely creamy expanse of inviting neck she's showing, nipping at tender skin until she reaches for me, her fingers gripping my arms. "How's that?"

"Mmm, it's a start. A definite start," she replies. "But this is more what I had in mind." Before I can argue or even think of a comment to say, she's raising herself up on tiptoes to kiss me and she leaves no doubt as to exactly what she has in mind.

I've always loved a woman that saw something she wanted and went after it. Especially when that something is me and the woman is the one currently driving my blood to the boiling point.

When she eventually remembers that she needs to breath, I sweep her up in my arms and carry her upstairs to bed. With a little luck the wee ones will sleep in, I have a feeling that it's going to a very late night for my lady and I.

*************